harold & kumar

i have to write this up as a public service... i'm firing up white castle at 6.50AM. allowing for that absurdity, let me give you another:

"White Castle. The Recipe for a Great Holiday.

In a large mixing bowl, tear the burgers into pieces and add diced celery and seasonings. Toss and add chicken broth. Toss well. Stuff cavity of turkey just before roasting. Makes about 9 cups. Note: Allow one hamburger for each pound of turkey..."

ah, the elusive white castle turkey stuffing recipe. arguably the most grotesque food development this side of the McRib, corn-topped pizza, and V's ethnic favorite, salty duck egg pancakes.

no, let me restate, this is the worst idea ever conceived, and i have to meet the author, that's a year's worth of material right there.

ad absurdum

kerry's in nevada yesterday stumping that bush is a very bad man for putting a nuclear waste dump at yucca mountain. what a cheap-ass rhetorical ploy, the "not in my backyard" emotional entreaty. well, john, it has to be in someone's backyard, unfortunately.

while i know as americans we all would rather have dumped the shit on yet another pacific atoll, i'm pretty sure the marshall islands are booked up right now--that is, if they haven't already sunk below the water line from our greenhouse emissions.

chapter III: scorned

"Events at my Apartment: D_ _'s Unlawful Trespass, Entry, and Assault and Battery

I entered my apartment, the top-floor of the building, and locked the door behind me. Within a few minutes of my arrival, Ms. D__ was now at the door, pounding on it, shouting profanities, and insisting I allow her to enter. I refused her entry. There was eventually a pause in her disturbance. Through the peephole I could see Ms. D__ entering the free access stairwell that ascended to the roof. Soon I could hear her footsteps across the ceiling of my apartment. I immediately became aware therefore that Ms. D__ was attempting to gain entry to my apartment by descending from the roof to my personal terrace via the rooftop fire escape, as she had done on at least one prior occasion the preceding week.

I moved to the glass-paned terrace door, confirmed that it was locked, and positioned myself 2 steps behind it. Ms. D__ soon entered the frame, descending via the fire escape, jumped onto my terrace and after determining that the door was indeed locked, began pounding now on the glass pane immediately adjacent to the door lock. Not expecting this type of resolve on her part, before I could approach the door, Ms. D__ had broken the pane and proceeded to unlock the door from the inside."




please stay on the therapy. that i will pay for. & keep writing that journal, you've made a lot of progress since january, honey. in the words of the immortal warner wolf (ny sportscaster): "let's go to the videotape!":

(25 Jan 04) "Goddamit boy, how can you not forgive me? I've never cheated, never even tempted to look at another male since you. I have no sex drive in fact unrelated to you. I can't even masturbate. All my waking hours are and have always been consumed by you. Can you not see psychoness is directly proportional to love? Given that, I'm sure no one has ever loved as much. Haha. Darling, can you not remember what good times we have together? Can't wait to read this a year from now. Uh-oh. I think I'm going to call him. God, please don't let me do that."

well, actually, maybe you still are that psycho. but you stay on the wagon, ok? don't give up hope. you just might find yourself in a relationship again in a few years.

cat fight

jon stewart is brilliant, but he's assumed the role of some modern day upton sinclair, railing against the inequities and transgressions within the news media. get a real job, buddy, then chime in. but this exchange was LOL funny.

http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail?ifilmid=2652831&htv=12&htv=12&htv=12

CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne by throwing him softball questions, and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?

STEWART: Absolutely...You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.

hoi polloi

re: all this chatter about the electoral college's failings, from the embittered, disenfranchised gore camp who've been drinking out their sorrows the last 4 years while bush did a texas two-step all over them, nato, afghanistan, iraq, the kyoto accord, int'l court of justice, the deficit, the 8 members of the supreme court who don't duck hunt--am i missing anything??

well, what seems to be lost on the liberal neo-elites is that while in 2000 and this year, the electoral college is working against them, ie. huge popular vote victory margins in places like california essentially get tossed out in the tally, this is really the last hurrah for the Republican party's platform as we know it. they're gonna have to come back to the middle, and fast, or face relegation to Ross Perot status. this isn't exactly news, but people don't seem to grasp how the demographics are completely against them going forward. blacks, latinos, asians are quickly displacing the white voting block. and which way do minorities vote, class?

which means, we (dems) should start worrying about populist trends in policy, within our own party. time to consider switching sides of the aisle. while it may addmittedly be very difficult right now to see yourself aligning with the 40% of the population who thought bush-as-forrest-gump constitutes a winning debate performance, we're rapidly going to find our liberal sensibilities trumped by real world considerations such as obscene IRS tabs, a welfare state in the grand French design, immigration policies run amuck, basically "free shit for everybody", everybody except for those in our tax bracket.

btw, Kerry's got Florida back. http://www.electoral-vote.com/
keep hope alive.

sick to death

enough already with this flu vaccine "crisis". enough.

if you lame-ass seniors can't make it through flu season without falling over yourselves & dying, i call that natural selection, not a crisis.

kudos to chiron corp for helping us out with the social security deficit.