Not

"I produced Thrill Zone: SOS Extreme Powerboats"*

...or pig-nosed chick with really bad eyebrows?

(think Norma Desmond on acid. these are not natural, i don't care what you say Dio. either way they are just too fucked up not to be fixed. self-awareness is a wonderful thing, Ms Cruz. everyone, all together now, "eyebrow arch"!) ?

not to mention, she bears the filipino national standard of no ass, pre-pubescent chest (see below, with a deferential nod to Dio, the Round 1 loser, on this attribute). i especially like the quasi-pubic hairline (only marginally better than Dio who's hairline is receding faster than the Bay of Fundy--see further on down).

i'll leave it to the masses though, as was the agreement. i've clearly logged my vote.

[btw, she got dumped by the loser oriental dude Will Young to her right. stop squinting, chinaman! btw2: S.A.G.E. is not gonna get published--Diane & Dio think you're a fucking idiot. move on already. *Correction, Production assistant, industry lingo for sweeping the cutting room floor and giving head during breaks. She is filipino, remember. That's a synonym for "low-class midget whore" in most of the world's languages.]


Let's take a closer look, shall we? "Back, and to the left. Back--and to the left."

''I am big. It's the pictures that got small.''


separated at birth?




For the record, this is not kiddie-porn, just really embarrassing non-cleavage on the 29-yo above, Ms. Elena Cruz.